Captain's Log
by sleepy fox spirit
Summary: Series of drabbles and one-shots centering around our favorite Captain and his Swan. Rating subject to change because... well.
1. Chapter 1

A scene that refused to leave me alone after a conversation with the lovely Zadien. Here's to you, luv.

Cross-posted on my tumblr (also called sleepy fox spirit) if you want to follow me there. As if it weren't obvious... I don't own OuaT.

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It had only taken a few days for Captain Hook, dashing rapscallion that he was, to get sick of sleeping in a room at Granny's and begin searching for a ship. The stillness of a bed on dry land was strange, leading to many sleepless nights full of tossing and turning before he gave up and went hunting for a sea-faring vessel that would suit his needs. Unfortunately, Storybrooke was not the best place to look for such things. Boats were scarce, and none of them were up to his usual standards.

After grumbling about not being able to find a decent ship in Storybrooke at Granny's while nursing a mug of beer – which he also detested. Swill that it was but better than nothing, he supposed – he finally found a possible safe haven with Leroy, of all people. Apparently the dwarf had a boat of his own, and so he and Hook set off to judge whether it was up to the Captain's standards. Ruby followed along just to satisfy her own curiosity, whereas Emma found herself there just to make sure no one was thrown overboard. Or something.

Once at the docks, Ruby and Emma hung back, leaning against the railing as the men studied the craft. If Emma didn't know any better, she would have guessed that they had hardly looked at the boat and were instead discussing… something. She wasn't close enough to hear the details.

"How much you want to bet this is going to become one of those 'mine is bigger' competitions?" Ruby mused beside her.

Emma rolled her eyes as she took a sip of her hot cocoa. "Please. They're not teenagers."

Amused, Ruby grinned at her and nodded her head at the wildly gesticulating Leroy. "Bet you a round at the Rabbit Hole."

"Fine, but only because I can't believe they would be so immature."

Ruby's grin only widened and she settled against the railing to watch, werewolf ears no doubt perked to catch more of the conversation than Emma could.

The men continued talking, with Leroy still waving his arms about at Hook, who bore a tiny smirk on his lips. Despite the cold, he still wore the leather pants and jacket, shirt open at the collar to expose more chest than Emma herself was comfortable showing at times, and she wondered how he could possibly sleep on a ship the size of Leroy's without freezing to death. Sure, the vessel had a cabin, but it was certainly cramped – she had never been inside, but unless it was bigger on the inside or something, there wasn't much room to be found – and that had to make sleeping difficult, even if it could still rock on the waves the way he was used to.

"Can't believe he can't sleep without the sea beneath him. Maybe we should get him a rocking chair," she mumbled.

Ruby snorted. "Or maybe a crib. You could rock him to sleep," she cooed, letting out a bark of laughter when Emma gave her a look.

The idea of rocking Captain Hook to sleep like a baby – something she had no experience in doing with an actual child, but whatever – was at least laughable, even though she knew that he would turn it pervy somehow because it was _Hook_ and he did that. Probably ask for a bedtime story and a kiss good night to go along with his nightcap.

Negotiations apparently over – unsuccessful, if Leroy's expression told her anything – the two men headed back toward solid ground, Leroy at a slumped-forward shuffle and Hook with his usual swagger. Without incident, Emma gave Ruby a triumphant look, but Ruby still seemed to hold out hope, her lips stretched in an almost lupine grin. Leroy passed the two women without a word, but Hook, being Hook, slowed his pace as he came near Emma, flicking that sinful tongue over his bottom lip, hooded eyes locked on hers and full of suggestive promise.

"Mine's bigger."

"… _Seriously?!_"


	2. Chapter 2

Taken from an out-take that I'm sure you readers will recognize. With that sort of material, I can't be held accountable for my actions. Super short one-shot.

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Hook lifted his hand and frowned when he met resistance. He looked down to the handcuffs holding him to the bed and ran his tongue over his lip in a way that shouldn't have been attractive but still was, even with cuts and bruises all over. "This is going to be a thing with you, isn't it?"

"It was my father's idea."

Amusement colored his expression and she wanted to take back her words when a dark brow lifted and he smirked. "Runs in the family, does it?"

"Hook."

"Should I be worried that you take such suggestions from your father? That can't be a healthy relationship-"

"_Hook._"

"Not that I don't find this situation intriguing. I may owe him a drink, but really-"

"Stop talking."

He lifted his stump and waved it and she hated that she knew that if it had been his good hand, it would have been a graceful flick of the wrist indicating his acquiescence. She also hated the fact that he was still smirking, damn him. She sighed heavily and fought the answering amusement that threatened to curve her lips into a smile. "I really hate you sometimes."

Hook settled further into the hospital bed and grinned unrepentantly at her. "If that's what you want to call it, love."

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Reviews make me do a silly little happy dance.


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